Price Manipulator Gifts

"If we increase the price by fifteen per cent we'll be able to give bigger discounts."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"Everything's gone up."

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

"How long do you think we'll get away with it?"

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

'What a bargain!'

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Short Memories

Turning a business graph around to get a positive reading.

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

"Someday all these anonymous accounts will belong to shell companies of which you will deny all knowledge."

'Freddie, the Little Merger Mogul, didn't expect to have a monopoly right away...'

"The stock market roller coaster rides of late have taught me a thing or two. Sell all your assets and stick with cash."

'Dickson, how many times do I have to tell you, don't start out with the price!'

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

"Is that the corporate rate?"

'He's been trying to control the television for years.'

'He's staying up to change the sign as price hikes happen!'

Sally, Jim - you'll handle daily speech writing. Vince, as usual, will be in charge of attack ads.'

Spin doctor arriving at an emergency.

'It might help with our friends in the media if you hang that upside down.'

A customer angry about the cost of gas costing an arm and a leg, handing over his arm and a leg to a greedy gas station owner.

"The price is up again? I hadn't noticed."

ATM.

'We're showing a profit when we make up the numbers.'

'No, he doesn't talk dirty but he was owned by a broker and he gives insider trading tips.'

'Any investment objective is just to keep up with tht price of gas and prescription drugs.'