Management Speak Gifts

"Reconfiguring our forward facing business practices to deep dive into accommodating blue sky reimagining of our cross pollination adoption processes..."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."