Management-speak Guru Gifts

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

The MBA Draft

Sir Winston Churchill

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"National security adviser"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Create some buzz!

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

The Dubloon Stops Here

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

Teamwork!

Career opportunities

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"My best managerial trait is that I dig for answers until I get them between my teeth. My worst trait is that sometimes I bury them."

"Uh-Oh..."

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'