Management-speak Guru Gifts

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

The MBA Draft

Sir Winston Churchill

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"National security adviser"

Create some buzz!

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

The Dubloon Stops Here

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

Teamwork!

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

Career opportunities

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

"My best managerial trait is that I dig for answers until I get them between my teeth. My worst trait is that sometimes I bury them."

"Uh-Oh..."

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'