Mammoth Aficionado Gifts

'He followed me home from the cloning lab. Can I keep him?'

Republican Mutant Mammoth

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"See, Og If mammoth foot ticklish, could me do this"

"Eat me"

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"Where do you think we are in the food chain right now?"

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'I believe it's time we stopped relying so heavily on instinct.'

The polar olympics

"Say, Honey, how about a nice salad for supper instead?"

"Phew, that was close."

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

Cat has birds on whiskers,

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

'Nobody wants to play tag with me at school: They say I'm too fast...'

Mammoth Posing

"You know I hate birthdays!"

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

"Let us be a city under a hill, for all the world not to see."

'Another Scotch?'

Now this is Dr. Brainstorm, he's trying to breed a moth that will eat synthetics.

'Well, shoot. Now Uncle Hector's caught in the ice! It's enough to make you want to move to Florida.'

'Same every Christmas! What's he got that we haven't got?'

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'