Mammoth Aficionado Gifts

'He followed me home from the cloning lab. Can I keep him?'

Republican Mutant Mammoth

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Eat me"

"See, Og If mammoth foot ticklish, could me do this"

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Where do you think we are in the food chain right now?"

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'I believe it's time we stopped relying so heavily on instinct.'

The polar olympics

"Say, Honey, how about a nice salad for supper instead?"

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"Phew, that was close."

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Cat has birds on whiskers,

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

'Nobody wants to play tag with me at school: They say I'm too fast...'

Mammoth Posing

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

"You know I hate birthdays!"

"I gotta flat. Can you get the spear out of the trunk."

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

"Let us be a city under a hill, for all the world not to see."

'Well, shoot. Now Uncle Hector's caught in the ice! It's enough to make you want to move to Florida.'

'Aww, mom! Pineapple upside down cake? ...Again?'

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...