Mammoth Admirers Gifts

"I wish we'd never domesticated the bloddy things!"

"See, Og If mammoth foot ticklish, could me do this"

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"Say, Honey, how about a nice salad for supper instead?"

Yakety-Yak

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

Romeo and Juliet, the Jazz/Moose Version....

Mammoth Posing

"How can you cross the road so decisively? I have to stop halfway across every time to rethink it."

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

No, no, don't tell me … you lost weight? You cut your hair? Wait, did you used to wear glasses?

Red riding hood giving the wolf a complex

Dog TagsPeople Tags.

Mammoth Tipping was the most Fatal of Primitive Teen Activities.

'Well, shoot. Now Uncle Hector's caught in the ice! It's enough to make you want to move to Florida.'

"Oh crap, my mood ring!"

'Sir, it's those monkeys we sent into space in 1959... They're back!'

'Hello, front desk? I'd like to leave a March wake-up call.'

'Here go, Thegla... It recipe you ask for.'

'You've got me all wrong, baby. I don't want to touch your sweater...I want to eat it.'

"You can never run too many bone marrow tests."

"That was 'Salt Peanuts'."

"Why do you always wear pants?"

'The baby's just fallen asleep: Don't you dare...'

I'd like it sliced thin for sandwiches.

The first Airbender!

"Don't make us warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

The wool club for mammoths.

"I've just been conned out of my dinner by a craft fox!"