Mall Stroller Gifts

Complaints Desk

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

No littering...

'Have a nice weekend, Alfred.'

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

The High Line at Giza

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

The Yummiest Mummy in the Village

'Keep Off the Wi-Fi.'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"I'm going on a little mental-health walk and you're not coming with me."

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

Older woman explains how to see off men with one of her looks

"Honey, run!"

In summer, the nut-jobs buried by squirrels the previous fall begin to sprout.

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

Man feeding the birds at the park is eaten alive.

"It's a sand castle, dear. Assembly required."

'Legend has it, he was known as the pigeon whisperer.'

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

Tripled his reading speed with no loss in comprehension.

The Perils of Dog Kisses

Books: Book on tape then back on book, then back on tape again. . . sold here!

'I guess we both enjoy long slow walks together.'

"You know what they say about getting older? Dang! I can't remember either."

Trapped in a painting

'I think he's a minimalist.'

"Why, it's a little piece of red yarn! Oh Harold, you always know JUST what to get me."

"Hail to thee, Frederick Law Olmsted!"