Mall Camper Gifts

The Wargfields embark on their Christmas night tradition of camping out at the mall to be the first in line to return gifts.'

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

"It's okay dear. Dinner always tastes better when it's caught fresh, thrown back, taken from our cooler, removed from the package, and fried."

Building a Shelter

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'Okay guys - lights out!'

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

"Just lemme finish my coffee."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

Can I go to the Computer Tennis Camp?

GPS, satellite dish, cell phone...nature awaits. All right, Pop. Nature awaits!

"It's not a bear, sweetie. It's the pizza."

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

'What were you sent up for?'

Local, free-range bug juice.

"Nice replica of the garden of Eden Joey!"

Bear Recycling.

Phone Mittens

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

"Hibernate sounds better than binge watch."

Wild, Wacky, Wild and Wacky

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

"Okay, boys...time for bed!"

"The computers are down. You'll just have to suffer and go outside and play."

'Say, where'd you end up storing all those bees we caught?'

"This article says to prepare for all types of weather at camp! Like it's going to snow in July!"

Paterfamilias makes himself independent of hotels

Rustic Camping: No Water, Electric or Wi-Fi

'Mummy will be back soon with some dinner.'

'Camping has made our relationship so much more in tents!'

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.