Minimalist Camper Gifts

'I've finally paid off the mortgage.'

Rustic Camping: No Water, Electric or Wi-Fi

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"It's okay dear. Dinner always tastes better when it's caught fresh, thrown back, taken from our cooler, removed from the package, and fried."

Building a Shelter

A Different Way To Portage A Canoe.

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

Why do I have to go to camp? What's the alternative? Fend for myself like the resourceful youth of old! Right! The kind who worked dawn to dusk! I'll tell your dad you'll be right over to haul mulch for the nursery. The baseball camp sounds plenty rugged!

Remember to lash from the outside!

'What were you sent up for?'

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

Phone Mittens

"Hibernate sounds better than binge watch."

Is Gypsie Moth in YOUR Garden? Signs to look for...

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

'Camping has made our relationship so much more in tents!'

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

'Don't worry Honey there isn't anyone for miles!'

'SHOP!!!'

"All I have is tofu."

'When you get up at night, be careful not to fall in the fishhole.'

'It's getting late. We should set up camp here and start out again in the morning.'

Camping - Fresh Air

'When they said, a vacation without frills, I didn't dream, this frilless!'

"One of my suppliers is letting me use his cabin for a few days."

"We'r going to hike to look for reception."

'I don't like roughing it...'

"Man, I love roughing it out here...but this trail mix is making my fingers sticky!"