Mall Navigator Gifts

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Are we there yet?'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"I am not asking for directions."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

Battery Lighthouse

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

Titanic: How's my steering.

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Set sail

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"But I wasn't running in the hall."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"You are here"

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"