Mall Navigation Gifts

"Well, it's up the escalator, on that second floor, you take a left at men's wear, go past the fabric store."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

The fate of the emigrant

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

'So much for your new Satnav!'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

'I really think we took a wrong turn.'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Recalculating route..."

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Admit it, we're lost."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

The Lost World: You are Here

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

Bicycle sat nav.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

"Well what does the GPS say?"

You are here.

"I am not asking for directions."