Mall Navigation Gifts

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

The fate of the emigrant

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

The Lost World: You are Here

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'I really think we took a wrong turn.'

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

'So much for your new Satnav!'

"Recalculating route..."

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

Bicycle sat nav.

You are here.

"I am not asking for directions."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Well what does the GPS say?"

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'