Making Resolutions Gifts

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Mediation Process

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

"...For new year, I'm going to stop watching so much sport..."

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"

"THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GET IN SHAPE."

Gym Resolutions

"I'm really serious about exercising. Last year I only went to the gym twice, once to join and once to renew."

2010 Calendar.

"I'm starting my diet today."

"If only he made goals all of the time instead of just at the beginning of the year."

"I made a new year's resolution to eat spinach. If I can't stand it, I'll give it up for Lent."

"A little bit less television, a little bit more books on tape. What's your New Year's resolution?

Underneath an overweight.

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"