Resolution Making Gifts

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

'I know I promised to get off my backside and take up a sort once the Olympics had finished - but it ain't over yet!'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Mediation Process

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"I feel like all I did in January was work out, eat healthy, strive for meaningful and balanced relationships, and improve my sleep schedule -- thank god that nightmare's over."

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"