Peaceful Resolutions Gifts

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

She required plenty of personal space.

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Mediation Process

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

Men Working Things Out

When mediation failed, they tried meditation.

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'It's a silent protest.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

"At last - no Trump."

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

"What would happen if you put down your weapon and tried to work things out peacefully?"

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

Nervous Buddha

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

Good intentions last a month on average

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

Wild Animal Park. How are the animals doing with their new year's resolutions? Good! The gazelle is trying to slow down and enjoy life, and the sloth is exercising more! What's the goat's resolution? To be more careful about what he eats? No, he just wants to spend more time with the kids this year. I heard the doe made a resolution to save some money. You misunderstood, Ernie. She didn't make any resolutions for herself. Her goal this year is to convince the male members of her specie

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

D I E T F We said we'd stick together this time, but we really knew it would only last a day or two.