Resolutions Gifts

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"I'm starting my diet today."

'My new year's resolution was to delegate more...So I delegated managing massively increased demands with drastically reduced resources in a flat-lining economy to George.'

Clancy: Willpower

"I'm giving up being a sex God and international man of mystery for New Year."

"This year... I'm not going to drink as muc wine."

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

I made a resolution to have a more positive attitude, but god knows how long that's gonna last...

Man shivers in front of open fridge, saying: 'I've quit smoking ??" it's going OK but I can't seem to kick standing out in the cold.'

'Hey... all I want is a fair chance for a fresh start, okay?'

'Every year, I make a New Year's resolution, but I never stick to it, and it's embarrassing when people ask me about it...this year I'm just going to lie through my teeth when people ask.'

2022

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Reolutions

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.