Resolution Maker Gifts

Good intentions last a month on average

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"So what will you be giving up for New Year then?"

'George,remember your New Year's resolution.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

"On second thought, could I honestly handle this big of a lifestyle change?"

"I think next year things will really be different."

New Deer Resolutions

"Mom, this Rosh Hashannah I have resolved to a) control my temper, b) be less selfish and c) be a more considerate son."

"So what are you giving up for the New Year?"

Your New Year's resolutions were ruled unconstitutional.

"Have you made a new year's resolution?"

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

New Years Baby.

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"I'm giving up begging, fags and booze...looks like I'll have to go back home to the wife and kids."

"I made a note of your New Year's resolutions"

"My news years resolution is to give up online gambling. . ."

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

"Too close to New Year's to start exercising now."

"Gee - I wonder what YOUR New Year's resolution is?"

Holidays are Here, Think!

"You should make a resolution not to worry about the little things..."

"Okay, I'm growing weary of the rose bowl parade. I think it's time to jettison Al Roker."

New year worry lines

'If I am to keep my resolution of being a kinder and more patient teacher this year, I'm going to need you to leave and not come back until May.'

"My New Years Resolution is to NEVER mention BREXIT EVER again."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"He initially resolved to be less of a pushover, but then we decided to take up knitting."

"My new year's resolution was to watch less news. Hal's was no news at all."

"This year, I resolve to give up smoking."

"This year... I'm not going to drink as muc wine."

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

"I need a New Year's resolution that's a challenge to make, but won't matter if I break."