Resolution Breaker Gifts

Linguaphone language course, "Congratulations, this course should last two weeks before you give up along with all your other resolutions"

'That was his New Year's resolution to get in to work all January with his bicycle.'

'Test results indicate you broke your New Year's resolution.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

-"Well, there goes the last of my new years resolutions" -"What was that" -"I turned up!"

Damn there goes the last of the New Years resolutions!'

I'd suggest less drinking, less smoking and less watching Paris Hilton on TV as good New Years' resolutions.

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

"Well there goes the last of the New Year's resolutions."

"I wonder if we'll manage to keep our wicked new year's resolutions again..."

"I've just broken the last of my New Years resolutions."

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"I'm delegating my New Years Resolutions, you'll be running a marathon in July!"

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

"I feel like all I did in January was work out, eat healthy, strive for meaningful and balanced relationships, and improve my sleep schedule -- thank god that nightmare's over."

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'