Resolution Breaker Gifts

Linguaphone language course, "Congratulations, this course should last two weeks before you give up along with all your other resolutions"

'That was his New Year's resolution to get in to work all January with his bicycle.'

'Test results indicate you broke your New Year's resolution.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

-"Well, there goes the last of my new years resolutions" -"What was that" -"I turned up!"

What does the world need most this time of year, minion? Make no sudden movements. It needs to not feel guilty about all the broken New Year's resolutions. I'm not following you. I've created and artificial intelligence program that combs everything posted by or about you on social media ... and then decides your New Year's resolution for you. For instance, yours is to ask out Mbege Anyango from Cameroon. The A.I. was determined she's your soul mate. I've ... I mean the A.I. ... has taken the li

Cookie Shop. New Year's Resolutions Broken Here. Frank, you're already giving up on your resolution to lose weight? Yes, but I'm keeping my resolution to frequently these old friends! The last ten days I've discovered that it's hard to lose weight as we get older and our eyesight declines. What does eyesight have to do with it? It's very difficult to hit a target weight when that target looks so tiny compared to my current weight!

If it makes you fell any better, I had to make seven New Year's resolutions, and I'm sure I'll break every last one. Ice cream.

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

Damn there goes the last of the New Years resolutions!'

I'd suggest less drinking, less smoking and less watching Paris Hilton on TV as good New Years' resolutions.

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

"Well there goes the last of the New Year's resolutions."

"I wonder if we'll manage to keep our wicked new year's resolutions again..."

"I've just broken the last of my New Years resolutions."

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.