Resolution Keeper Gifts

Gym Resolutions

"If only he made goals all of the time instead of just at the beginning of the year."

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

Gym'll Fix It

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"I feel like all I did in January was work out, eat healthy, strive for meaningful and balanced relationships, and improve my sleep schedule -- thank god that nightmare's over."

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

Holidays are Here, Think!

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."