New Year's Resolution Maker Gifts

"Ever since his new year resolution to give up thinking he's been really happy."

(Oh, drat …. There goes the new year's resolution.)

"I made a new year's resolution to eat spinach. If I can't stand it, I'll give it up for Lent."

Captain Ahab New Year Resolutions

"My New Year's resolution is to become a better person."

"See where resolutions to eat more fruit get you?"

"This year I'm getting in shape."

Let's get organized

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

Man to woman leaving health club: 'The instructor said I had lots of body definition ... plump, rotund, obese, heavy ...'

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Yoga for beginners,

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

A push in the right direction: 50c.

'I'm downsizing in hopes of a merger.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

January Joiner

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

Man Walking Towards His Goal.

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'