New Year Resolutionist Gifts

2010 Calendar.

"Weird, ever since New Years none of my friends have been texting me."

"...For new year, I'm going to stop watching so much sport..."

Underneath an overweight.

Let's get organized

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Man to woman leaving health club: 'The instructor said I had lots of body definition ... plump, rotund, obese, heavy ...'

Yoga for beginners,

A push in the right direction: 50c.

'I'm downsizing in hopes of a merger.'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

January Joiner

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

"Look at me - I can do this!"

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

Man Walking Towards His Goal.

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

The Janopause

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

Preparing for Dating Opportunities in 2020