Magical Realism Gifts

2 jazz musicians

"Dad, I checked a book out at the library...can you read it with me?"

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"We'll always have Paris..."

Characters jumping out of a book.

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Cheeze Wiz.

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

Isabel Allende

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

Marriage least expected to last...

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

A Zircon Is Forever

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

Tired Barbie

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

"My computer just texted me."

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

Unconditional Loveseat

"I want to get married and start a family with you—although God knows who I'll want to finish it with."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."