Mad Men Enthusiast Gifts

Advertising Agency - "Phew! Fooling some of the people all the time is hard work."

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

Gas: Regular/Hi-Test/Testosterone

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Soldiers' Ego

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"My name is Bob and I'm looking for a 'Yesirree' man."

Alpha males through the ages!

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"Wow, souls seem a lot heavier lately"

"Sadie, you were around in the sixties...was 'Mad Men' accurate?"

"All those years studying mayhem. All that postgraduate work in looting and pillaging; and here I am, rowing the friggin' boat."

"Mom!!"

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

"Let's see...how would Arnie handle this?"

"On the plus side, it's nice to be doing something together."

"Each night Lily said her prayers... As the fleas and gnats do bite and gnaw my skin, so shall the worms eat and consume me, in the dirt and dust of the Lord's earth. Amen. And each night her prayers freaked her parents out."

"I wonder how much he paid for that view."

'I think that I'm beginning to lose my mane.'

"The whole world is crazy except for me and thee...and sometimes I wonder about thee!"

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

A praying mantis bride throws her husband's head to a crowd of wedding guests.

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

"Dear, do you think you may have become too comfortable with your masculinity?"

Arm and leg wrestling.

"The money has been great since Death took up the collection."

"Wait a minute...you did WHAT to those who missed the sales targets??!"

"Oh dear, this is awkward."

'Nope, I was wrong - you looked better with the mane.'

Macho fishing.

'Jungle hair.'

"Real men don't shave, but, if you have to, don't be dainty about it."

"We're done with Baby Einstein. We're on to Baby Bruckheimer."