Macho Man Aficionado Gifts

"Mom said grandpa killed it so his penis would feel bigger."

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Important Muscles.

Sylvester Stallone

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Soldiers' Ego

Alpha males through the ages!

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"This is all my own hair."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

Man with many tattoos.

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

"Take no notice of George - it's just because he opened a jam jar earlier!"

Arm and leg wrestling.

'I want my money back -- I'm still a wuss.'

"I recommend the lobster today, sir, if you think you're man enough."

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

"Okay boys, time to maintain a delicate ecological balance between man and beast."

"Leave it, Cedric! - It's always the same; you have a few drinks and all you want to do is take the world on. . .!"

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

Bill just couldn't wait for his testosterone to kick in.

The Men Thing. . .

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

'Bad hairy-chest day.'