Macho Admirer Gifts

"Howard is my most male friend."

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

Man with many tattoos.

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Sylvester Stallone

Soldiers' Ego

Alpha males through the ages!

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

"Take no notice of George - it's just because he opened a jam jar earlier!"

Arm and leg wrestling.

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

"If it's your chair, man up and get him out of it!"

'My speed limit is bigger than yours.'

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

The Men Thing. . .

Macho Males: Putin and Obama

"Mom said grandpa killed it so his penis would feel bigger."

'He's a big softie really'.

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'My mom would never let me get one before.'

'I told you it was a full bodied wine, but you just had to mess with it.'

'Remember, talk up your athlete's foot -- it's the most macho thing about you.'

'Do you have a hat for every day of the week, Clancy?'

"Now that's a splinter."

You're going down. In your dreams. Let's do this thing. Kerboom! Jalapeno eating champ! Let's chug insects. Men.

"Hey, Henry! How's the car?"