Macrame Lover Gifts

'I enjoy macrame, dissecting small rodents.' The dog's reply - 'I wish I wasn't this man's best friend.'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

King George I

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

Parisian man eating pastries

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

'Are you guys still watching the tapestry? Why don't you go outside it's such a nice day!'

Golfers forming the raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

Sofia Vergara

Poetry reading nightly

Antonio Banderas

Cezanne, after he had broken the laws of perspective.

"Oh Dad, you're the best! My own aquarium!"

Australian stress counselling.

Lawyer to client: 'Yes, your turnover at the pastry shop would fall under tort law.'

The Queen Mother

'Whatever it is you're doing down there, Malcolm, I think it's affecting the television.'

"I agree, a national conversation on privacy is wait! Yum...I've gotta share these pix!"

Roger Moore

The Pastrycook and a Greedy Boy

Melania Trump

Close... but no Degas.

The Grim Rapper

Just out of the oven, Jacque's head is filled with the irresistible aroma of freshly baked brioche.

I Was A Spoiled Rich Kid. So As Your Elected Official, If I Don't Get My Own Way I Would Nuke Everyone!

The grim reaper (of humans) and the angel of death (for dogs) are foreshadowing the imminent death of a man and his doh.

Kate Winslet

Edouard Manet

"I would've started my novel by now, but I've been to busy suffering!"

Furniture faux pas: The coffee table coffin

"Spanish ladies have nice eyes."