Macrame Maverick Gifts

"Weren't they the people you lent the complete macrame book to?"

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

Rogue elephant

'Have you any W fronts?'

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

Hairstyles

David wasn't sure about the idea of having denim curtains.

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

"You fit in. You just don't match."

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

"hmm. Mother Nature's definitely trying to tell us something here."

A weather vane on top of an artist's studio points in directions that include: "pop", "abstract", "figurative" and "post-painterly".

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

"who knows, Perkins maybe one day in the far future we'll be bullying each other in addictive artificial environments..."

'Note his bold brush strokes, Fred...'

"The decorator was here. He said we should have a room in which we don't sit down."

Beard, socks and sandals.

First Attempts: Wright Brothers. Hair-plane.

"You again?"

A man working on a model airplane

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

'Miss Smith, your wardrobe is playing havoc with my blood pressure.'

'Look at it another way. Think of the money you'll save on tires.'

'They're automating the bottling process? Why? Just yesterday, me and my team managed to cork four bottles.'

The Senior Fashionista

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."

Italian Army Knife

'Innovation is a way of life with him.'

"So how do you like these new cylindricals?"

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

Artist