Macrame Gifts

"Others have tried to say something in macrame and failed."

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."

"Weren't they the people you lent the complete macrame book to?"

'I enjoy macrame, dissecting small rodents.' The dog's reply - 'I wish I wasn't this man's best friend.'

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Daredevil on pc when doing stunt.

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

'Are you guys still watching the tapestry? Why don't you go outside it's such a nice day!'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

Australian stress counselling.

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

Party Scene

'Remind clients to come prepared for their initial consultation with documents, names, addresses, checkbook, credit cards, cash.'

"I wonder how much he paid for that view."

"Nice igloo, but why isn't it melting?!"

New Year Party.

"I used to be super-impressed too, until I found out it's made of paper-mache!"

Dancing with death.

Bayeux Tapestry

Don't laugh it's paid for (bumper sticker)

'The customer is King'

"Last year it was macrame, this year it's Christianity"

Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

Recruitment Agency: "Describe yourself in three words."

'Say, we do look good against a dark background.'

"Despite the promises of our capitalist progenitors, I'm not finding deep joy in my work. I'd prefer to just hang with my buds."

"There's not much Gordon won't do for his clients!"

"Relax, it's not a magnifying glass to fry us, it's a camera macro-lens: Smile!"

'Where were you when I was into macrame?'

'If at first you don't succeed, expect a lot of criticism.'

Bull chases farmer after being milked.

Tony's Discount Funneral Parlor (funeral parlor)