Macrame Unenthusiast Gifts

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"Pardon my glove."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

"Dude—you're ruining my face—and when are you painting my hands—my ear is itchy—also you stink—hurry up!"

After two years on zooms, Arthur was having trouble coping with face to face networking again. . .

A military officer daydreams

'She leaves before I finish her portrait.'

'And you get this free.'

"I wonder how much he paid for that view."

A man and a woman at a house party

Dancing with death.

'...I was aced, defaced, disgraced and replaced.'

Higher education.

"Weren't they the people you lent the complete macrame book to?"

"Others have tried to say something in macrame and failed."

"Last year it was macrame, this year it's Christianity"

Over the years, Sid had refined travel on the path of least resistance to a fine art.

'Golf was too frustrating, so Ed took up painting!'

"I put my best ideas on the internet and all I got was this print-on-demand shirt."

"Ha ha. Stop by and say hello to your mother. Ha ha, that's a good one!"

'Hey, who's playing the maracas? Nobody in this band plays maracas.'

'Pleased to meet you.'

'I was just looking at you and wondering what my grandchildren would look like if you and my daughter started dating again, fell in love, got married and had some!'

'Where were you when I was into macrame?'

"I think of you as being enormously alive."

'How's my brother? No change, I'm afraid - he's still dead...'

"Hey, I saw you dressing me with your eyes!"