Macrame Unenthusiast T-Shirts

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"Pardon my glove."

"Dude—you're ruining my face—and when are you painting my hands—my ear is itchy—also you stink—hurry up!"

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

After two years on zooms, Arthur was having trouble coping with face to face networking again. . .

A military officer daydreams

'She leaves before I finish her portrait.'

A man and a woman at a house party

'And you get this free.'

"I wonder how much he paid for that view."

"Why Americans don't vote"

'...I was aced, defaced, disgraced and replaced.'

Doug adds a whole new dimension to the March Madness office pool.

Dancing with death.

Higher education.

"Weren't they the people you lent the complete macrame book to?"

"Others have tried to say something in macrame and failed."

Over the years, Sid had refined travel on the path of least resistance to a fine art.

"Last year it was macrame, this year it's Christianity"

"Ha ha. Stop by and say hello to your mother. Ha ha, that's a good one!"

Meet Santa. I've been working for weeks on the list of presents I want. I've got my Christmas present list and an invitation for Santa to attend my birthday party next year -- I know it's a long shot but I figured it couldn’t hurt to try. He just wants to know if you've been naughty or nice ... You didn't have to bring your whole resume. "Naughty or nice"? Does he mean your private life or your public persona? Yeah, it's all so confusing! Is sharing music files naughty or nice?

Don't worry, it's that same as with dogs --- A cold nose means you're healthy.

"I put my best ideas on the internet and all I got was this print-on-demand shirt."

'Golf was too frustrating, so Ed took up painting!'

'Hey, who's playing the maracas? Nobody in this band plays maracas.'

'Pleased to meet you.'

'Where were you when I was into macrame?'

'I was just looking at you and wondering what my grandchildren would look like if you and my daughter started dating again, fell in love, got married and had some!'

"I think of you as being enormously alive."

'How's my brother? No change, I'm afraid - he's still dead...'