Macho Yogi Gifts

"Say, Clyde. . . is that a . . . a . . . yoga mat?"

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Important Muscles.

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

Sylvester Stallone

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Soldiers' Ego

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"This is all my own hair."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

'I looked into their eyes before I shot them, with my high-powered rifle, from half a mile away.'

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

Man with many tattoos.

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

Before you brag to your buddies about how you ate the worm at the bottom of a bottle of tequila, I should tell you that you really are the larval from of the moth Hypopta Agavis, which is, of course, a far less macho thing to do. Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

'I want my money back -- I'm still a wuss.'

"I recommend the lobster today, sir, if you think you're man enough."

"Why don't we call it a draw?"

Bill just couldn't wait for his testosterone to kick in.

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

Soft answer that turneth away wrath bar and grill...formerly, Salty's

'He's a big softie really'.

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

The Men Thing. . .

'I like a man with a good, firm fist bump.'