Macho Dynamics Enthusiast Gifts

"Why don't we call it a draw?"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Important Muscles.

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Soldiers' Ego

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

Alpha males through the ages!

"This is all my own hair."

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

Man with many tattoos.

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

"That's against the rules...."

Dynamic decision makers - Will probably be back in an hour or so.

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

Just because you'll never have a boyfriend doesn't mean you get to bring everyone else down. Who cares about dating? Brnng. I'll get it. It's your prince. Hi? It's, um, Amy? Is, um, Teddy, like, there? Sure. I'll give you to him!

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

"I recommend the lobster today, sir, if you think you're man enough."

"If it's your chair, man up and get him out of it!"

The interpreter

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

'Well, that's just great, we're lost...but will Mr. Macho stop and ask for directions? Ohhh, no!'

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

'He's a big softie really'.

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

The Men Thing. . .