Macho Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'On the bright side, you've finally got your man-cave.'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Men can show their emotions!

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

Soldiers' Ego

Sylvester Stallone

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

Man with many tattoos.

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

Bill just couldn't wait for his testosterone to kick in.

'My speed limit is bigger than yours.'

"If it's your chair, man up and get him out of it!"

The Men Thing. . .

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

Macho Males: Putin and Obama

'He's a big softie really'.

'I like a man with a good, firm fist bump.'

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'Yes, this bike complies with the town's new noise pollution laws, but we've programmed this MP3 player with brrroom brrroom sounds, so you can still feel macho while riding it.'

"Now that's a splinter."

Extreme sports psychologist.

'I told you it was a full bodied wine, but you just had to mess with it.'

'Remember, talk up your athlete's foot -- it's the most macho thing about you.'

In the end I told him, stop bothering these women or I'll kick you out the door...(only cos he was a lot smaller than you...)

'What? You wanna piece of me too, Bub?'

Clancy: Snake

'I like my guys tough, you know, the kind who leave the crusts on their sandwiches.'

"Howard is my most male friend."