Macho Culture Fan Gifts

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Sylvester Stallone

Soldiers' Ego

Alpha males through the ages!

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

Man with many tattoos.

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

"Take no notice of George - it's just because he opened a jam jar earlier!"

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

The Men Thing. . .

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

Office worker leans back on chair. Woman says: 'Sorry, but that does not make you a risk-taker.'

"Mom said grandpa killed it so his penis would feel bigger."

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

'He's a big softie really'.

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'Yes, this bike complies with the town's new noise pollution laws, but we've programmed this MP3 player with brrroom brrroom sounds, so you can still feel macho while riding it.'

'Do you have a hat for every day of the week, Clancy?'

'I told you it was a full bodied wine, but you just had to mess with it.'

"Now that's a splinter."

Clancy: Snake

Dating Service: 'Dang Cursed again with manliness'

'I like my guys tough, you know, the kind who leave the crusts on their sandwiches.'

"I don't even like bacon that much, but eat a lot of it to impress chicks."

"Howard is my most male friend."