Macho Fashion Fan Gifts

'Do you have a hat for every day of the week, Clancy?'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Men can show their emotions!

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Sylvester Stallone

Soldiers' Ego

Alpha males through the ages!

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

Man with many tattoos.

Handlebar Moustache Man

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

"Take no notice of George - it's just because he opened a jam jar earlier!"

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

Bill just couldn't wait for his testosterone to kick in.

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

"Mom said grandpa killed it so his penis would feel bigger."

'He's a big softie really'.

The Men Thing. . .

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'Yes, this bike complies with the town's new noise pollution laws, but we've programmed this MP3 player with brrroom brrroom sounds, so you can still feel macho while riding it.'

'I told you it was a full bodied wine, but you just had to mess with it.'

"Reggie 'The Butcher' Baker just found out that everyone knows his wife calls him 'love dumpling'."

"Now that's a splinter."

'I like my guys tough, you know, the kind who leave the crusts on their sandwiches.'

"I don't even like bacon that much, but eat a lot of it to impress chicks."

"Can you open this form me?"