Macho Humor Fan Gifts

"I don't even like bacon that much, but eat a lot of it to impress chicks."

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Sylvester Stallone

Soldiers' Ego

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

Alpha males through the ages!

Man with many tattoos.

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"Take no notice of George - it's just because he opened a jam jar earlier!"

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

Bill just couldn't wait for his testosterone to kick in.

'My speed limit is bigger than yours.'

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

"If it's your chair, man up and get him out of it!"

The Men Thing. . .

'He's a big softie really'.

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'I told you it was a full bodied wine, but you just had to mess with it.'

'Remember, talk up your athlete's foot -- it's the most macho thing about you.'

'Do you have a hat for every day of the week, Clancy?'

"Now that's a splinter."

'What? You wanna piece of me too, Bub?'

Clancy: Snake

Dating Service: 'Dang Cursed again with manliness'

'I like my guys tough, you know, the kind who leave the crusts on their sandwiches.'

"Howard is my most male friend."