Macho Humor Aficionado Gifts

'I told you it was a full bodied wine, but you just had to mess with it.'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

Sylvester Stallone

Soldiers' Ego

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

Man with many tattoos.

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

Arm and leg wrestling.

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

"Remember that weekend in Saint-Tropez when you tried to eat my small intestine?"

"If it's your chair, man up and get him out of it!"

BEWARE of man-eating palm tree.

'My speed limit is bigger than yours.'

Macho Males: Putin and Obama

"Mom said grandpa killed it so his penis would feel bigger."

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

The Men Thing. . .

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

'He's a big softie really'.

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'Yes, this bike complies with the town's new noise pollution laws, but we've programmed this MP3 player with brrroom brrroom sounds, so you can still feel macho while riding it.'

Extreme sports psychologist.

'Remember, talk up your athlete's foot -- it's the most macho thing about you.'

"Now that's a splinter."

Clancy: Snake

'What? You wanna piece of me too, Bub?'

'I like my guys tough, you know, the kind who leave the crusts on their sandwiches.'

"I don't even like bacon that much, but eat a lot of it to impress chicks."