Macho Mythbuster Gifts

'In my experience, two types of men order pink squirrels. First, there's the guy who's secure enough about his masculinity that he doesn't care what people think. And then there's the guy like you...'

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

Important Muscles.

Soldiers' Ego

Geezer.

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

Horse meat scandal.

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"Look, Papi...you need to take care of yourself. You don't have to be macho and proud and scared of being weak!"

"If only you knew. . ."

"Dad, is there really no tooth fairy, or is that just fake news from some Russian bot?"

"This is all my own hair."

'I looked into their eyes before I shot them, with my high-powered rifle, from half a mile away.'

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"It's good luck."

Man with many tattoos.

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

'Your mother tells me you've started blogging! I have no idea what that means, but stop it immediately, or you'll go blind!'

Before you brag to your buddies about how you ate the worm at the bottom of a bottle of tequila, I should tell you that you really are the larval from of the moth Hypopta Agavis, which is, of course, a far less macho thing to do. Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

MD to pregnant woman: 'You don't become immune after one child.'

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"That's my new bill. Now here's the Jersey Devil with the details."

Arm and leg wrestling.

'Oh, he's not mean. He thinks it makes him look macho.'

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."