Macho Banterer Gifts

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

Men can show their emotions!

Important Muscles.

Geezer.

Soldiers' Ego

"This is all my own hair."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

Man with many tattoos.

'I looked into their eyes before I shot them, with my high-powered rifle, from half a mile away.'

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

Viking Sissy Drink.

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

"I recommend the lobster today, sir, if you think you're man enough."

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

'My speed limit is bigger than yours.'

Soft answer that turneth away wrath bar and grill...formerly, Salty's

'I like a man with a good, firm fist bump.'

The Men Thing. . .

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

Macho Males: Putin and Obama

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'In my experience, two types of men order pink squirrels. First, there's the guy who's secure enough about his masculinity that he doesn't care what people think. And then there's the guy like you...'

'I told you it was a full bodied wine, but you just had to mess with it.'