Macho Personalities Gifts

Soft answer that turneth away wrath bar and grill...formerly, Salty's

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Important Muscles.

Macho Vegetarian

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

Soldiers' Ego

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

Alpha males through the ages!

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"This is all my own hair."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

'I looked into their eyes before I shot them, with my high-powered rifle, from half a mile away.'

Viking Sissy Drink.

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"Take no notice of George - it's just because he opened a jam jar earlier!"

'I have to convince him it's not going to ruin his macho image if he bunts.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

'I want my money back -- I'm still a wuss.'

Bill just couldn't wait for his testosterone to kick in.

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

"I recommend the lobster today, sir, if you think you're man enough."

"Okay boys, time to maintain a delicate ecological balance between man and beast."

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

'I like a man with a good, firm fist bump.'

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

The Men Thing. . .

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'My mom would never let me get one before.'

The real reason why men shoot animals.