Macho Men Gifts

Alpha males through the ages!

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Important Muscles.

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Soldiers' Ego

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"This is all my own hair."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

Viking Sissy Drink.

"Take no notice of George - it's just because he opened a jam jar earlier!"

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

'I want my money back -- I'm still a wuss.'

Bill just couldn't wait for his testosterone to kick in.

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

"Okay boys, time to maintain a delicate ecological balance between man and beast."

"I recommend the lobster today, sir, if you think you're man enough."

'Well, that's just great, we're lost...but will Mr. Macho stop and ask for directions? Ohhh, no!'

'That's what I call macho. . .That's George. Jogging home from his vasectomy.'

'He's a big softie really'.

The Men Thing. . .

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

Macho Males: Putin and Obama

'Bad hairy-chest day.'