The Macho Man Gifts

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Important Muscles.

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Soldiers' Ego

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

Alpha males through the ages!

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"Good game.". . ."Good game.". . . "Nice game.". . . "Good game.". . . "I'm in love with you.". . . "Good game."

"This is all my own hair."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"I'm just saying Darling: You look a lot less formidable when you carry your kitten around..."

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

Viking Sissy Drink.

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

'I want my money back -- I'm still a wuss.'

"Leave it, Cedric! - It's always the same; you have a few drinks and all you want to do is take the world on. . .!"

"I recommend the lobster today, sir, if you think you're man enough."

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

"Okay boys, time to maintain a delicate ecological balance between man and beast."

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

Bill just couldn't wait for his testosterone to kick in.

'Yes you did, Mike. You just said 'perchance.' And yesterday you called me 'my good fellow.' Twice.'

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

Macho Males: Putin and Obama

'He's a big softie really'.