Macho Charm Gifts

'I like a man with a good, firm fist bump.'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Men can show their emotions!

Important Muscles.

Soldiers' Ego

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

Alpha males through the ages!

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"This is all my own hair."

'I looked into their eyes before I shot them, with my high-powered rifle, from half a mile away.'

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

Before you brag to your buddies about how you ate the worm at the bottom of a bottle of tequila, I should tell you that you really are the larval from of the moth Hypopta Agavis, which is, of course, a far less macho thing to do. Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.

Viking Sissy Drink.

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

Arm and leg wrestling.

'Oh, he's not mean. He thinks it makes him look macho.'

'I want my money back -- I'm still a wuss.'

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

"I recommend the lobster today, sir, if you think you're man enough."

Bill just couldn't wait for his testosterone to kick in.

Soft answer that turneth away wrath bar and grill...formerly, Salty's

'He's a big softie really'.

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

The Men Thing. . .

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'I told you it was a full bodied wine, but you just had to mess with it.'