Macho Challenger Gifts

Before you brag to your buddies about how you ate the worm at the bottom of a bottle of tequila, I should tell you that you really are the larval from of the moth Hypopta Agavis, which is, of course, a far less macho thing to do. Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Important Muscles.

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

Soldiers' Ego

Alpha males through the ages!

'My dad is pushing me to become an alpha male, but frankly, I'd rather be a poet...'

"This is all my own hair."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

'I looked into their eyes before I shot them, with my high-powered rifle, from half a mile away.'

Man with many tattoos.

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

Viking Sissy Drink.

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"Take no notice of George - it's just because he opened a jam jar earlier!"

'I have to convince him it's not going to ruin his macho image if he bunts.'

"Say, Clyde. . . is that a . . . a . . . yoga mat?"

Arm and leg wrestling.

"I recommend the lobster today, sir, if you think you're man enough."

"If it's your chair, man up and get him out of it!"

'I like a man with a good, firm fist bump.'

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

'He's a big softie really'.

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

The Men Thing. . .

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'Remember, talk up your athlete's foot -- it's the most macho thing about you.'