Macho Mindset Challenger Gifts

'I have to convince him it's not going to ruin his macho image if he bunts.'

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Soldiers' Ego

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

Macho Vegetarian

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

Alpha males through the ages!

"Look, Papi...you need to take care of yourself. You don't have to be macho and proud and scared of being weak!"

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

Man with many tattoos.

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

Before you brag to your buddies about how you ate the worm at the bottom of a bottle of tequila, I should tell you that you really are the larval from of the moth Hypopta Agavis, which is, of course, a far less macho thing to do. Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.

Viking Sissy Drink.

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

Arm and leg wrestling.

'My speed limit is bigger than yours.'

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

Soft answer that turneth away wrath bar and grill...formerly, Salty's

'I like a man with a good, firm fist bump.'

Macho Males: Putin and Obama

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

Office worker leans back on chair. Woman says: 'Sorry, but that does not make you a risk-taker.'

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

The Men Thing. . .

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

You're going down. In your dreams. Let's do this thing. Kerboom! Jalapeno eating champ! Let's chug insects. Men.

'In my experience, two types of men order pink squirrels. First, there's the guy who's secure enough about his masculinity that he doesn't care what people think. And then there's the guy like you...'

"Reggie 'The Butcher' Baker just found out that everyone knows his wife calls him 'love dumpling'."

The real reason why men shoot animals.

"This is your second cousin Narciso. When he was small, he wanted to be a bullfighter."

'What? You wanna piece of me too, Bub?'

"Hey, Henry! How's the car?"