Masculinity Challenger Gifts

'My dad is pushing me to become an alpha male, but frankly, I'd rather be a poet...'

"'Macho Soap'! For the house husband who wants red, raw, rough hands!"

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Gas: Regular/Hi-Test/Testosterone

You would have to work decades to make what many CEO's do in an hour.

AI

"These cartoons are insulting! I don't like it at all! I would never watch something that shows Latinos like this!"

"Real men cry these days....."

'And this is what Larry calls his 'man cave'.'

"Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated..."

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

'This is me at my most masculine.'

"Sipsies?"

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"Welcome aboard, Ms Pebble. We felt you fit our boardroom image rather well."

"Just stop and ask for directions...we are going to miss Rihanna!"

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"The orgasms were real. But I faked the kids."

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

"Your profile says you're a lumberjack, I though they were all big buggers."

"I changed Siri's voice to a man, now it won't ask google for directions."

"You've been charged with driving under the influence of testosterone."

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem... why doesn't everyone get one?"

"Jewish people go out for Chinese food, but do you ever see Chinese people going out for Jewish food?"

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

Crocodile Tie

The Dealt Cards.

The full male cycle

"I love him, he's that rarity, an architect without horn-rimmed glasses"

I saw that! Saw what? You just had tears in your eyes. The end of the movie made you cry! Did not. Why not just admit it? What's the big deal? It was a sad movie and you cried. It happens to everyone. You think you're above normal emotions? Are you better than the rest of us?! No. Fine, okay. It was sad. Maybe my eyes were a little moist. Girly man! Look at the crying girly man! Can't win.

'Give me the most soft and gentle looking unicorn tattoo you've got!'

"...And my Dad never gave me his approval. Which is why I try so had to be a perfect male specimen."

Before you brag to your buddies about how you ate the worm at the bottom of a bottle of tequila, I should tell you that you really are the larval from of the moth Hypopta Agavis, which is, of course, a far less macho thing to do. Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.

'Online dating is rubbish. I've written to 20 women and not ONE has replied.' 'At least you're being spurned in the comfort of your own home.'