Macho Food Critic Gifts

Real Men Don't Eat Manna.

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Sylvester Stallone

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Soldiers' Ego

Macho Vegetarian

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

'I looked into their eyes before I shot them, with my high-powered rifle, from half a mile away.'

Man with many tattoos.

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

Before you brag to your buddies about how you ate the worm at the bottom of a bottle of tequila, I should tell you that you really are the larval from of the moth Hypopta Agavis, which is, of course, a far less macho thing to do. Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

'I have to convince him it's not going to ruin his macho image if he bunts.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

Bob's new year's resolution was to give up his obnoxious, monstrous, macho streak...he vowed to ditch the leaf blower!

"If it's your chair, man up and get him out of it!"

'My speed limit is bigger than yours.'

'Yes you did, Mike. You just said 'perchance.' And yesterday you called me 'my good fellow.' Twice.'

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

Macho Males: Putin and Obama

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

The Men Thing. . .

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

Office worker leans back on chair. Woman says: 'Sorry, but that does not make you a risk-taker.'

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'I told you it was a full bodied wine, but you just had to mess with it.'

'Do you have a hat for every day of the week, Clancy?'

'Remember, talk up your athlete's foot -- it's the most macho thing about you.'

'What? You wanna piece of me too, Bub?'

'I like my guys tough, you know, the kind who leave the crusts on their sandwiches.'

"Can you open this form me?"