Macho Meat Lover Gifts

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Steak Ted?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Cow of BEEF

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

Men can show their emotions!

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

Platter confusion.

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

Important Muscles.

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

Soldiers' Ego

I don

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"Oooh... bacon!"

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"

Sylvester Stallone

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

'I'm not sure how to break this to you all... the Atkins diet is back.'

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

A Cow's Last Will and Testament