Lyre Lover Gifts

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Apollo

Lady Anglea

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

Archimedes statue with a lever

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

Senta jumps into the sea

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

Knight in shining Lycra!

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Bashful in Nashville

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

"I hate this time of year."

Jerry Lordan

'My love is like a red red rose...'

Musical genres

'I changed my status from LLC to LL Cool C.'

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

"I sympathize with how important it is to you, John... but I simply can't bless your lure!"

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"Hey, Dad, I've been working on a song for our family band!"

'Well, I thought crankbaits made really great stocking stuffers.'

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

Chorister's Loose Teeth

Band alternating between whiney and angry songs.

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."