Lieder Lover Gifts

Hugo Wolf

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Jean-Paul Sartre

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Distractions Of The Great

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Archimedes statue with a lever

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

The intellectual.

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

Iris Murdoch

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Senta jumps into the sea

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Thomas Hardy

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

'Come on, come on, let's work together!'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

Of Mice and Men.

Bashful in Nashville