Lycra Enthusiasts Pillows

Swan Inn: No children or men in lycra

'You lifted your head.'

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

Knight in shining Lycra!

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

"I hate this time of year."

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

"They can steal my bike, but they can't take my dignity."

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

Ladies in Lycra

"Yes, I'm sure it's my glass slipper - arch supports, odor-eaters, and you can see where I chipped away some glass for my bunions."

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"Here it comes!"

"I'm inviting you to join my referral network, on Lynxedin."

Lady Anglea

"It's obviously fake and it looks ridiculous ... still... I find it weirdly attractive."

'When I ask you to bring a friend, what made you think I meant your iguana?'

"Autumns's definitely on the way!"

'Ralph, how much do you want for that lure? Just name it.'

"Just confirming, there are no catch limits or size restrictions?"

After the party the Millers return to their underground lair.

The Wolfman's Crime and his Shameful, Secret, Addiction!

'Whoa I never said I had ED. I said I had reptile dysfunction.'

'It says,'If you are not 100% satisfied with this lure, may God grant you the wisdom to accept the things you cannot change.''

Yes, Wiccan!

An excerpt from Cinderella With Lizards

'That's my jogging suit.'

"I know that the industy has a responsibility to challenge climate change. . ."

"How many times do I have to tell you I don't like it when you blow in my ear!"

Ladies in Lycra

Hall monitor lizard: 'Hey! No running!'