Lycra Enthusiasts Gifts

Swan Inn: No children or men in lycra

'You lifted your head.'

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Knight in shining Lycra!

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

"I hate this time of year."

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"Here it comes!"

"I'm inviting you to join my referral network, on Lynxedin."

Lady Anglea

'When I ask you to bring a friend, what made you think I meant your iguana?'

"It's obviously fake and it looks ridiculous ... still... I find it weirdly attractive."

The Wolfman's Crime and his Shameful, Secret, Addiction!

'Ralph, how much do you want for that lure? Just name it.'

"Autumns's definitely on the way!"

"Just confirming, there are no catch limits or size restrictions?"

After the party the Millers return to their underground lair.

'It says,'If you are not 100% satisfied with this lure, may God grant you the wisdom to accept the things you cannot change.''

'That's my jogging suit.'

"I know that the industy has a responsibility to challenge climate change. . ."

An excerpt from Cinderella With Lizards

Ladies in Lycra

Yes, Wiccan!

'I called it first!'

"Taxi!...Taxi!..."